There’s something I keep coming back to and it’s this: Love is our superpower.
Not control. Not perfection. Not being the best, the funniest, the most successful, the most admired, or the most productive. Love. Kindness. Curiosity. Just a simple, quiet care for each other and ourselves.
When we try to force things—when we hold on too tightly to the way we think something should go—it almost always ends in stress, pain, or anxiety. We fear that if we don’t control everything, it’ll all fall apart. But the truth is... we never had control in the first place!!
We can do our very best at something, give it our all, and show up with the purest of intentions. But if the outcome doesn’t match what we pictured, or if the results fall short of what we wanted, the best—and most healing—thing we can do is let it go.
If you, like me, have ever thought, “If only I were _____________ [smarter, more organized, funnier, faster]...” You are dimming your own light. Maybe you thought what you had to say didn’t matter quite as much. Maybe you thought you don’t matter. But that’s not you. And that’s okay! And that would be forcing something. And that never works.
Because forced conversations, forced friendships, forced anything… just doesn’t work. For me, it leaves me frustrated, disconnected, isolated, crying in the car, and further away from me… from who I am. And I find myself in my car crying: “Why am I like this? Why am I crying like this?”
Confidence has been a longtime struggle for me. “Do I belong here?” “Do they like me?” “Can I do this?” “They don’t think I can do this.” Those have been persistent thoughts for me since I was a little girl. My bedside table is filled with books addressing confidence and self-doubt. My most recent book on there is by Stanford Psychologist Gregory Walton called ‘Ordinary Magic.’
He discusses how little shifts in perception can lead to lasting change. Transitions—like going to college, dealing with early relationship issues, or starting a business—often produce those feelings of self-doubt. In the book, Walton explains that while many of us try to ignore these doubts, unaddressed, they can become self-fulfilling—undermining our confidence. Even minor setbacks, like a bad grade, can cause us to withdraw. But Walton believes we can become “wise” to these questions—learning to recognize them and respond with reassurance and clarity.
So… let it go.
You don’t have to match anyone’s energy or pace. You don’t have to force your voice into a space that wasn’t meant for it.
Just be you. Let everything else go. We are all unique and we are all supposed to be right here. Right where we are.
Love yourself.
That means embracing your pace. Your way. Your voice.
Be kind to the older man who’s fumbling for his card at the checkout line. Be present with the little one who wants to tell you a long story about an ant. Being kind and sincere and caring and curious—that is power and that is love in action.
My dad always said: You can learn something from every single person out there. If you truly listen, you’ll learn something.
And he was right.
Sometimes it only takes a small, quiet moment—a conversation, a new perspective, a random spark—and suddenly, you’re curious again. And you’re on the move! One foot in front of the other… and suddenly, you’re running a race you never thought you could qualify for. You’re starting something you never thought you’d be brave enough to begin.
So wherever you are right now, in whatever storm or stillness— remember:
Love is our superpower.